Needing versus wanting

Taking a trip home to see my mother and sister made me finally understand the difference between being needed and being wanted.

With my mom, my sister, and my ex-wife, I was needed.  My children need me.  Need implies a lack of volition.  Need it like air, or water.  For first born, being needed is probably the usual state of things.  It feels right, it feels normal.  Thinking of past relationships, I see that nearly all were based on being needed.  The exception was Dawn.  But both Lisa and Sarah were based on someone saying that they needed someone like me.  I was flattered, and it worked for a while. Katie was need based too. 

Wanted on the other hand is volitional.   Want implies that a person chooses.  Want implies that a person can do without.  I need liquid, I want good beer.  I need food, I want good Thai.  Last week I felt wanted.  I felt wanted by someone who doesn't need me.  That is a really good feeling.  However, it is really scary as I have nearly never experienced that before in a relationship.  To be attracted to someone who doesn't need me is exhilarating and freeing.  I like it.  But it also feels more dangerous.